fivefrom30: a rags to slightly nicer rags story

#1
It’s a typical Monday night. After a long day of pretending to have things to do, I’ve decided to treat myself to a glass of cheap wine, and a bag of Smiths potato chips. Louis Theroux is interviewing a man who thinks he is an alien, and also owns a bar named the ‘AlieINN’. Get it? Genius.

I’m regretting not grabbing the Original flavoured bag, having settled for the bag closest to my proximity at time of selection, Cheese and Onion. Do people even buy Chicken flavoured Smiths anymore? I mean it doesn’t even taste like chicken. Also, why is Chicken green? Does that make any kind of sense? If anything, Barbecue should switch colours with Chicken and create some much needed continuity between Smiths’ Potato Chips and Arnotts’ Shapes.

Discussing the design flaws in the packaging of chips is just one of the many things I’do with my time. Recently I made a video that reviewed the gameplay and captured the enjoyment of the 1992 education based game, Math Circus. I came up with an idea of starting a podcast that discusses bread in a comparative and  in a ‘not-even-slightly-funny manner’ called ‘Loafing Around: Your Overly Descriptive Guide to the World of Bread’. I also had ambitions to write a book detailing what I believe are the strict rules of breakfast, and what food is and is not acceptable to eat. So yeah, I guess you could say life’s going pretty well for me.

Also, side note; Media Watch just started.

I’ve convinced myself for so long that life, as I know it, has been fine. That I’m reaching my destination at my own pace. But I turn 25 this year. In five years I’ll be thirty. You know what most people have when they’re thirty? A wife, a house, a child. They also have regret, debt and a longing for the hair they once had when they were eighteen and life still held promise but they aren’t eighteen anymore, they’re thirty with two kids and a mortgage and even though you know how stupid it looks you still can’t shave that one little desperate patch of hair left on your head, serving as a timely reminder of the younger man you used to, and still wish to be.

Despite all of that, they’re adults. They certainly do not buy cup noodles as apart of a ‘nutritious’ diet. When I’m 30, will I look back on the past five years as a period of achievement and accomplishment? Will I fail? Will I still buy cup noodles?

So here is the catch; there are exactly 1949 days until my 30th birthday. I’m going to try to blog the ins and outs of my life from now until then. A ridiculous task I know. I’ve never really been a ‘long haul’ kind of guy, but I don’t see why I couldn’t be one? All I have to do is write what happens in my life, everyday, for the next five years. Or give up after two weeks, I’m not too sure yet.

Well, Q&A is starting now. Time for another glass. One down, 1948 to go!

Posts that is, not glasses of wine….

Oh, I’m Josh by the way. I probably should have said that earlier.

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