Day 2. Go Directly to Jail. Do Not Pass Go.

Looks like I won’t be sitting at home drinking wine- again. Tonight I’m meeting with some friends for a board games night. Not super intense Dungeons and Dragons style board games. Think along the lines of Monopoly and Cards Against Humanity. Who knows, maybe even a bit of Singstar?

I believe that boardgames, as a general rule, can be divided into three, for lack of a better word, “Sections”.

Section One is filled with nice, simple games. They’re fun, short, and require little to no thought process at all. Games like Connect Four, or Guess Who. These are short form games for the whole family to enjoy and laugh about.

Section Three is on the opposite end of the spectrum, much like the people who play them. These are games that require time, effort and a lack of a girlfriend. Games where the dice you roll is more interesting than the person rolling it. Games where the only prerequisite in order to play is having both your hands coated in the cheese dust from a freshly opened packet of Cheese Supreme Doritos.

I’m joking of course. Nobody buys Cheese Supreme flavour.

However tonight, we will be playing games from Section Two. I like to think of Section Two as comparable to living with your partner for the first time. At the start its fun and exciting, but one hour in and you want to bludgeon yourself with a dull object in the face until you die.

Also side note, I was thinking about sandwiches. Like, say your one true passion in life was the making of sandwiches. What’s the end goal? Sandwich Artist at Subway? Ok, back to the point.

I think a true test of friendship is seeing if you can survive a night of games from Section Two, WITHOUT the aid of alcohol.

Now I know what most of you are thinking, Alcohol allows you to get through the most tedious of life’s tasks. Things like visits from your distant relatives, sitting through long movies or picking up your daughter from primary school. However if you, as a collective sober unit, manage to reach the end of Monopoly together as one cohesive and fairly happy team, you know you’ve found friends for life.

Cards Against Humanity will probably be played tonight. Any game that allows me to combine ‘Whiskas Catmilk’ and ‘Auschwitz’ will always hold a place in my heart. I’m not too sure why, but in this game I find that the cards with incredibly specific references to Australian culture (or lack of) are the best ones.

Sure, cards like ‘MechaHitler’ and ‘Pac-man Uncontrollably Guzzling Cum’ are classics, but there’s something about the charm of something as simple as ‘A Slab of VB and a Pack of Durries’ or ‘LYNX Africa Body Spray’ that really make me proud to be Australian.

Oh and ‘A Sick Burnout’. God Bless.

I should point out that these posts are slightly behind schedule. Turns out I don’t have a great understanding of basic instructions and instead of posting to the blog, I just saved a draft of the post. There should be two posts today to catch us back up to normal.

Two posts in and I’m nailing it. #nailingit




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