Man-cave. Half man, half cave.

I might be a man, but I wouldn’t call myself ‘a man’. Like, I do own a penis but I don’t own a ute. Having said that, I don’t know what it is but the idea of owning and creating a ‘man-cave’ does things to me. Sexual things. It does sexual things to me, that I may not have asked for, but am definitely not complaining about.

Man-cave: noun A place where I can store my foraged meat and berries while I practise woodworking, building fires, and grunting.

On a completely unrelated note, does anybody else remember finding a copy of Age of Empires in their box Nutri-Grain when they were a kid? What ever happened to those kind of promotions? And why were they aimed just at children? I would love to open up my Kellogg’s All Bran and find a subscription to

I think there is something instinctual about a man wanting a space of his own. In my house, the man-cave is the office. Although I do share it with my girlfriend. So I guess I can’t call it a ‘man-cave’. The title is fairly incorrect. It should probably be called the all-gender-inclusive cave.

Or maybe I should just stick to calling it the office.

I’m not sure how ‘man-cavey’ the room is, but it’s the best I can do with a two bedroom apartment on a student budget. The room is filled with a large desk I obtained in St. Kilda during the hard-rubbish purge of 2016, a Nintendo Wii console I bought purely to play only one game on, and a portrait I purchased from a local artist of her hipster ex-boyfriend playing a guitar. She was pretty glad to get rid of it. I was happy it only cost five dollars.

Actually I think when you get older, man-caves are called sheds. I could be wrong, but I think a shed is where middle aged men go to neglect both their families and their marriages and learn to replace their sense of responsibilities towards to these people with a cold beer and undeserved levels of resentment.

So yeah, a lot to look forward to.

I like to think men have always used caves to hide from their problems. I think thats why you don’t see many women interested in spelunking. Not only are caves a great form of shelter, but they’re also a great place to go when you need to cry. The hardest part is finding a cave though. I’m pretty sure that’s why most families move away from the city when they’re older. More caves out that way.

Also, Mancave would be a great name for a B-Grade Superhero.


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