Books & Manflu.

Tragedy struck last night. It’s still hard to talk about, but I need to get it out. Last night, my Kindle died. The screen froze, lines running through it. No matter what I do, it won’t recover. It’s dead.

There were so many more books I wanted to read on there. Books I was halfway through. I never even got to say goodbye…

I’ve slacked off when it comes to reading books as I’ve gotten older. I don’t read books as much as I do the instructions on a packet of microwavable Macaroni and Cheese. I don’t care what you tell me, the recipe for a family sized Kraft Macaroni and Cheese has more depth and plot than any of the Twilight novels.

It’s not that I don’t have in interest in books, but rather I convince myself I don’t have the time to read. Why start reading when I could sit down ans aimlessly stare at YouTube videos for hours on end, slowly replacing the knowledge stored in the deepest recesses of my mind with videos of Russian stand up comedians performing awkward routines and headbutting their audience into submission.

Ah, Russia.

It’s also really hard to know what to read. I’m guilty of reading the first few chapters of a book, and then deciding I hate it and immeditely stop reading. I think I’ve stopped reading more books than I’ve completed. I have a problem.

Insert clever segue here.

I have a man cold at the moment. A man cold is just like a regular cold, but it’s more manly. Like instead of involuntary sneezing, I can’t help but constantly lift weights. I thought I had a headache but actually I was eating twelve steaks. What I thought was cold shivers was actually a social and cultural male desire to assert dominance both professionally and personally over woman.

Also, I have a sore throat.

Whenever I get sick I have a need to eat the greatest takeaway food known to man: Kentucky Fried Chicken. I’ve not eaten any KFC so far this year, and I hope to make it a full year before I do so. That’s not to say that I don’t want to eat it, I just can’t go through with it. Really, it’s funny what body confidence issues will do to a mans diet…

What was this post about? I don’t know, I’m sick.

Rest in Peace Kindle xx









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  1. This was funny! You’ve got my follow. Check out my comedy blog and give it a follow if you like it!


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