Masterchef Australia returned to our screens last night, and I couldn’t be happier. There are a few reasons why I enjoy the show, and while I love to cook and learn new techniques, that’s not the reason I tune in religiously. It’s because the judges, the contestants and the voice overs are all so pathetically scripted or improvised that it verges on the point of hilarity.
I could make a Masterchef bingo card complete with tropes the show insists on continuing, and I guarantee each and every box would be crossed off by the end of the episode. In fact, I think I might.
Do be warned, if you’ve never watched an episode of Masterchef Australia, you’re probably not going to get a lot of what I’m about to talk about. Although to be fair, most posts I write are incredibly niche, so good for you for sticking it out.
Let’s tick off a few early boxes on our bingo card;
- A contestant complains about how much time they have left to cook
- We cut to an ad break right as the mystery ingredient gets revealed.
- Matt Preston still looks like a walrus.
These three are a given actually. Not all that funny either. Then it gets a bit harder;
- Gary Meehan tastes the contestant’s food, asks them a confidence shattering question and then walks away while tapping a spoon
- George Calombaris says the word ‘yeah’ more than once in the same speech
- The contestants forget how to walk somewhere and instinctively run while cooking
Let’s bring it home now, these are the ones you really need to tick off to confirm you’re actually watching Masterchef
- George gives an inspiration speech telling somebody to “Get it Together” and “Dig Deep.”
- A contestant says a sentence before cutting to an ad break, only to then return from the ad break and repeat the exact same sentence again.
- Gary tries to make a joke, and instead of being actually funny he is actually that kid who tries too hard to be funny but just isn’t, so you feel sorry for him and politely laugh at his joke, which in turn encourages him to keep telling similar jokes and repeating the cycle and here we are nine seasons later and oh my god somebody make it stop.
Bonus squares include somebody going to the garden to put flowers in their dish, and George drastically underpaying his staff for several years.
I bloody love this show. Expect a weekly round up of this show. You’re welcome.