Confessions: Part Three

I’ve got things on my mind today, far too many to be able to construct one singular post with some semblance of coherency. So here are a further twenty confessions. 

  1. Do people live in trams? Like, if I were rich enough and I could buy an old tram, would I be able to live in it?
  2. Actually, which mode of public transport would be the best to live in? I like to think it would be a ferry of some kind, thougj i jave no evidence to back up this claim.
  3. Are ferrys a mode of public transport? Because they should be.
  4. Don’t give me lumpy avocado mush and tell me it’s guacamole, you fuck.
  5. I wonder if the people who initiated the leap from VHS to DVD actually invested their time and research into something more useful, whether we would already have a cure for cancer? Or at least something a bit more useful than Bluray.
  6. Did Bluray succeed? Like do people actually care about Bluray?
  7. If somebody discovered a new species of stingray that was blue, would they be allowed to call it a bluray?
  8. If somebody discovered a new species of audio visual player that also hurt people with a long barbed tail, would the be allowed to call it a stingray?
  9. Remember Stingray from Neighbours? Also, remember Neighbours?
  10. The tram driver just drove past my stop, and then continued to ignore the request to stop for a further three stops. Neat.
  11. When I grow old I want to be able to fish on a lake with my son, while not talking to each other on a boat in the middle of an old lake. We would only discuss the lake of fosh nibbling, and the sound of a fresh can of beer being opened would be the soundtrack to our summers. Years later my son would look back on that moment and realise that those fishing trips were the cause of all his issues when it came to maintaining an emotional connection with another human being.
  12. Why is indoor soccer called footsal? Like actually, why? Fuck english.
  13. I would kill for some kind of KFC burger right now. Literally kill. Or at the very least mame.
  14. It has been almost six months since I last at KFC. God I miss it. I had to give up my biggest addiction. Thank god I still have crack!
  15. I think anything that is a sequel should also be accompanied by the tag line “electric boogaloo”.  For example World War Two: Electric Boogaloo. Way better.
  16. I’m sitting at an empty bus stop hoping a bus will come. I could check the timetable but I am far too invested in this list to have time for that. Also, I probably won’t actually post this until I get home so I can adequately speel and grammer check it.
  17. Did Optus ever have phone booths?
  18. I wish Bi-Lo still existed, if just to provide former celebrity daytime television chef Ian “Huey” Huertson continued employment through their ad campaign.
  19. I’ve missed Masterchef again. Three nights in a row. Not. Happy. Jan.
  20. I recently have been reading about The Simpsons through various essays and thesis’ discussing the metaphilisophical natuee of the show and how it has shaped most of the culture we see on television and screen. It’s how I relax. 

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